Shorts and Tights - Again

Tights by We Love Colors

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Designers pushed shorts for seasons – that’s centuries in fashion terms – but had little to show for their efforts. That’s because they put them on unfeasible creatures such as Sasha Pivarova and accessorised them with bare legs as, get this for utter naivety, a summer item.

The customer, who is always right, knew better. Shorts are a winter item. At least they are in Britain, where our hideous summers are the price we pay for relatively mild winters and where, as every teen girl knows, shorts are exactly what drawerfuls of last year’s opaque tights have been waiting for.

Shorts’n’tights are sassy and sexy in a sweet, dimply, Cheryl Cole sort of way. They enable girls whose guardians wouldn’t allow them to wear a mini to school to wear something equally short. They keep out draughts, they cover up cellulite, they’re a bit rock’n’roll without being controversial. Note that I have ring-fenced all these bonuses for young girls. That’s because past a certain age (roughly speaking, Kate Moss’s – she’ll be the gatekeeper of what is age-appropriate when she’s 100) shorts’n’tights are a no-no. Not bleak. Just life. “

Funny, I thought that anyone over the age of 18 would look odd in shorts and tights as a regular dress item. Glad to see that pushed back.